ok, you know you wanted it, you knew youd get it, Leidolfr delivers once again, in the form of Omegle Poetry, dont be jealous, I'm not.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyo
You: Hi, my names jim, and Im from the head office of telecom isp's, the isp for the host of this site
You: would you mind if asked you a few quick questions?
Stranger: go ahead
You: ok, so, about how long have you been using this ste?
Stranger: check your session variable for that information, should be stored there
You: unfortunatly the users of this site come up as user: ip so id have to check through the whole list and somehow discern that it was infact you
You: but this question isnt as relevant really as the nexr
You: during whatever amount of time you have been here, have you noticed any lagging or crashes
You: that you would consider inapropriate for your current computer situation
Stranger: crashes should show up server-side, shouldn't they?
You: not on a user bases only connections and disconnections
Stranger: which should result in a user lagging out and raising an exception in your scripting technology, shouldn't it?
You: it would onlly come up as a console error, and it would probably specify a number and port
You: we dont really have the time to discern that information
Stranger: which would still give you an average user activity log, if utilized correctly
You: well there is alot of processing information that we would have to filter through to really specify from user to user, so really its easier to ask around this way
You: whats happened is, tonight there have been alot of report of crashes and lags
You: we're thinking someone possibly could be lagging the main server
Stranger: through DDoS attacks?
You: well theres no real way to determine that, we just have reports of crashes
You: we do have a log of pings, however several non malicious sites ping us all the time
You: we are currently working through that list
Stranger: you mean you can't run a port monitor to see where the pings are coming from?
You: no, whats happening is there are too many IPs, we are currently tracking them with a series of site botnets
You: but the problem is of course through a proxy we have to contact the admin of said proxy to kick a list of ips at the times
You: and all this takes alot of man time
Stranger: look, you seem to know your shit, at least
Stranger: so i shall pretend this is maybe not some prank and answer your questions truthfully
You: thank you
You: the problemwith this site is there are only a few people to monitor it
Stranger: so, no lagging or crashing at all from my browser
You: are you using a firefox browser, or IE8?
Stranger: FF 3.53
Stranger: 3.5.3
You: ok, well that helps, well anyways, ive waisted enough of your time here, thanks for answering my questions

[ Ok this one just got boring so I stopped where I was going with it, I felt it was already a win ]
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: how r u ?
You: this has got to be the loosest site premise ive ever seen, lol
You: im good, hows it goin
Stranger: im good too
Stranger: from ?
You: Georgia, you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[ ahahahahaha, What does this say people? ]

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Stranger: hi. Im male
You: person youd kill, old person youd fuck, and animal you hate, go
Stranger: )))))
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: they paint these walls to hide my pen, but the shithouse poet strikes again
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Please wait for an automated system message:
You: ....
You: ....
You: <p>Omegle is a brand-new service for meeting new friends. When you
use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a
one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous,
although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal
details if you would like.</p>
<p>If you like Omegle, be sure to check out
the Omegle blog!</p>
<p id="chatbutton"><img src="/static/chatbutton.png" alt="Start a chat"></p>
<div id="feedback">
<h2>Send feedback to Omegle</h2>
<form method="post" action="/feedback">
<p id="emailfield"><label for="email">Leave this field alone:</label> <input type="text" name="email" id="email"></p>
<p><label for="realaddr">Your email address:</label> <input type="text" name="realaddr" id="realaddr">
Stranger: Es sungen drei Engel einen s
You: was?
Stranger: üssen Gesang,
Stranger: mit Freuden es selig in den Himmel klang.
You: ich weiss nicht der unterscheiden zwischen mensch und tier, koennen sie mir helfen
You: ich hab viele sacke des brots, rotweins, und feingeld vons frankreichen
You: auf einmal, als ich jung war, ich findet es war so geil
Stranger: haha
You: zu mein arsche zu gefingern
Stranger: I don't speak German, actually
You: as war sehr spassvoll
You: no shit
You: im a robot
Stranger: you finger your ass?
You: i speak everything
Stranger: I see
You: try it
Stranger: ok
Stranger: Loquesne lingua latinam?
You: in pictura est puella nomine cornellia
Stranger: what
You: cornelia sedet sub abdore i villa rustica
Stranger: -_-;
You: in latinam scribet
Stranger: you realize the context doesn't really make sense
You: i lied though
You: im an alien so im doing well
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: ok
You: try it
Stranger: Quetilye i lambe eldaiva?
Stranger: HA
You: come te se no esperanto para neche
Stranger: it's not esperanto
You: ta gaeilge agat?
Stranger: what
You: razvriam ti bulgarski?
Stranger: it's not gaelish
Stranger: I don't speak bulgarian
You: kak probab i na ruski nezna
Stranger: it's not russian goddammit
Stranger: no
You: hvorfor er du norsk snakker
Stranger: grrr
Stranger: well
Stranger: it's elvish from Tolkien's LotR
Stranger: bet you didn't expect that
You: really
Stranger: yes
You: tell me about it
You: what else do you know
Stranger: the proper term is Quenya
You: is it the same elfish as on the ring
You: or is there a difference in mordor elfish
Stranger: there are 2 elvish languages used i
You: continue
Stranger: one is quenya
Stranger: the other is sindarin
Stranger: the ring-script
You: ah i see
Stranger: is in Black-speech, or Orcish
You: now do they have simular words
Stranger: Quenya and sindarin do
You: can they understand eachother
Stranger: whereas the Black Speech more or less stands alone
Stranger: Think Quenya as Latin and Sindarin as french
You: oh I see
You: so how long did it take you to learn this and how much do you know
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: I don't know
Stranger: I've gone through the tutorial
Stranger: for quite a few months
Stranger: I try translate some poems or such
Stranger: every now and then
You: well, is there a reason
You: you just liked it>?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: lol
You: does anyone else you know speak it
You: do you have like elvish parties
Stranger: I guess
Stranger: no
Stranger: lol
You: lol ok
You: well
You: where could you use this
Stranger: I don't know
Stranger: fun.
Stranger: I guess.
Stranger: or maybe roleplaying
Stranger: although I'm not into those
You: well do you use it as like screen names
You: elfish screen names
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: I guess
Stranger: like my email address
Stranger: or my youtube account
Stranger: etc
You: so youre on youtube eh
You: anything i would know
Stranger: what
You: do you have youtube videos
You: or would i know your user name
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: I don't feel like giving them out to strangers :P
Stranger: and I only have like one video
You: oh im nmot really asking for it
You: ws just wondering
You: some people are well known on youtube
Stranger: aha.
Stranger: anyway
Stranger: the video's totally unrelated to my language obsession
Stranger: it's a school choir thing that I posted
Stranger: rather embarassing I must say
You: lol
You: so youre in the choir
You: hows that working out
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: don't know
Stranger: I'm not really in the choir
Stranger: but the varisity choir thing
Stranger: and the season starts next semester
Stranger: rehearsal and stuffs
Stranger: so.
You: must be lots of girls there
Stranger: no
You: well that sucks
Stranger: they make sure the ensemble is tight and balanced
Stranger: 2 soprano 2 alto
Stranger: 2 tenor 2 bass
You: what if they have an uneven numbr
Stranger: they can't
Stranger: people try out
Stranger: and they pick
You: what if thirteen people try out
You: they wil tell one no
You: to make it even
Stranger: yeah
You: well thats nmot right
Stranger: we have audition
Stranger: you have to try out for it
You: what if number 13 was the best number thirteen they could be
Stranger: it's ALWAYS 8
You: ok well what about poor numbers 9-13
You: they are just cast asside
Stranger: exactly
Stranger: who cares
Stranger: they suck at singing
Stranger: compared to those who got in
You: what if they were the next barry manelo
You: he sucks at signing too
Stranger: I don'tknow
Stranger: stop asking me retarded questions
Stranger: lol
You: what if they had a tag team system, make it like wrestling
Stranger: it's the rule
Stranger: what can we do about it
You: youre singing and bam
You: tag
Stranger: wtf
You: now its thunder horses turn
Stranger: are you male
You: well you should know that by now, but why do you ask
Stranger: males tend to be more retarded than females.
Stranger: so.
You: are you female then
Stranger: no
You: well
You: so you think youre a retard
You: is that what ya saying>
Stranger: lol
Stranger: I guess
Stranger: it's the truth, don't you think?
Stranger: females are much more practical than males
You: i dunno, i only own one pair of shoes and thats practical
Stranger: hm
Stranger: but like
Stranger: females probably won't be wasting time to
Stranger: learn some exotic language and all
You: but just think
You: if it werent for language warriors like you, we wouldnt speak anything
You: wed cry at eachother and point to our new shoes
You: wel anyways, i think your a total faggot you pussy elfish choir boy
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi my names will Jenkins, im a 45 year young black male, looking to have a good time
You: have a hot tub
You: and lots of toys
Stranger: hi
You: i enjoy anal play
You: transvestites welcome
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: TT:ISO:IRL FTW togtfonbzz0rs for Pokemon Tradez
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heya :)
You: ITT:ISO:IRL FTW togtfonbzz0rs for Pokemon Tradez
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heya
Stranger: ppl
You: do you do the dew
Stranger: dew
Stranger: wtf
You: dew
You: the fuckin dewzz0rz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: do you do the dew?
Stranger: wtf?
You: the dew
You: do you do it
You: no really, this is important
Stranger: i don'y know what that means
You: well how old are you
Stranger: 15 and u?
You: 16
Stranger: are u from?
You: Nevada
You: you?
Stranger: brazil
You: oh really
You: you live there now
You: do you know where i can get a shrunken head? or is that more of a peru thing?
Stranger: don't know rsrs
You: whats rsrs
Stranger: is like a laugh
You: shakahkah
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: you a nayger boy? i dont consort with them there naygers
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Im jewish and I have a small penis, how are you tonight?
Stranger: im good
You: well thats just wonderfull
You: where you from?
Stranger: i have a big penis
Stranger: i come from Penisland
You: oh yeah?
You: wanna trade penis pics sometime
You: il give you my home adress, hold on
Stranger: in your mothers dreams
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 18 yo guy looking for webcam sex
You: have you found christ
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: yo i need me some koolaid skkii skkii
Stranger: ohh hot dayumm
Stranger: i am ice hot
Stranger: so i will be the ice to your cool aid
You: fuckin man you now, its like, we on a level you know what im sayin b
You: its like yo the grillz to mah piece holmz
You: hatas be talkin like woaah
You: and im like, damn, woaahh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You: true or false: you pretend to be a woman on the internet
You: and true or false: you are successfull at it
You: true or false: you prefer turkey over other lunch meats
Stranger: none alternative above
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: sup cockstick
You: hey shitstain im talkin to ya
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Stranger: hi f/m
You: i twitted twitter but twitter hasnt tweated me a twitter back yet
You: is it because i smell, im fat
You: or like
You: both
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: say something, my time is money
Stranger: time=$
You: just my time
You: so whats up
You: where did i put that damn remote anyways
You: and how bout them yankees
Stranger: nothing much at the moment
Stranger: you get what you pay for
You: yeah im actually only allowed on the computer an hour a day
You: im currently being treated at, well, a facility
Stranger: you loco?
You: well they say so, but i think its a conspiracy
You: i think thats part of the reason im here
Stranger: ah
You: so what brings you here
You: and what should i know about you
You: "stranger"
Stranger: boredom
You: nice
Stranger: ive only used this site a couple times
You: how did you find out about it
You: most people dont know yet
Stranger: every once in a while something intersting happens
Stranger: i forgot where i heard originally
Stranger: i tried it once a few months ago
Stranger: and just remembered it again for some reason
You: well thats cool
You: i found it on this computer
You: lots of weird sites in the history
You: they try to filter us but no, they dont
You: ok well, i raped a dog once, so im gonna go see how that works out for me
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: och what up then ye fookin slag all
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: oi, fookin mickey here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You: rite, ye got mickey here
Stranger: hey :)
You: whats up then
Stranger: lol
You: ye takin the fookin piss then eh?
Stranger: where are you from
Stranger: i like the way you speak
Stranger: hahahah
You: glasgow
Stranger: where is that
You: fookin tu rite ye do
You: scottland
Stranger: yaaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: motherlandddd
You: so yer a fookin shite scott too then eh
Stranger: canadian
You: ye get fookin pissed ta fucken binge teeth?
Stranger: im quite wealthy
You: yer not a fookin quebecqueer are ye
Stranger: i dont even un derstand what youre saying,
Stranger: nonono
Stranger: toronto
You: lol
You: rite
You: so ye wealthy and ye dun know how tah get pissed to the fookin binge teeth
Stranger: well... if i knew what that meant, i might know how to...
You: every which slag all baern dont know how ta fuck all to the bingeteeth
Stranger: try to speak normal english for 3 seconds
You: rite ok
You: u go tothe pub, aye?
You: and ye get pissed, eye
Stranger: *ddrunk
You: then ye know ta fookin get it to the binge teeth then aye
Stranger: wtf does that mean!
You: i thought canadians were fookin smart and shit
Stranger: i am
Stranger: you just arent
Stranger: with these words
Stranger: that do not exist
You: tu rite ye just dun know fookin scots
You: we canny all be a fookin winterland shite all
Stranger: well sorry but being taught english properly
You: fookin tu rite ye sorry fa it
You: of ta hem slaggin off the fuck all else canny did
Stranger: sorry what?
You: ye know, rite, ye at the hem
You: havin a few pints with ye mates
You: and then the fookin slag all says like, why ye feet on the table, and shite as such
Stranger: pints. i know what that means, it was in a book i read
You: and ye fookin binged at the fookin minge so ye feckin binge teeth that feckin slagall
You: pints
You: fookin beers mate
Stranger: yeah i know
You: rite so wheres your story then
You: im waitin ta fookin be enthrawled mate
Stranger: wats my story?
Stranger: well i live in toronto
You: aye, continue
Stranger: how old are you/?
You: im 17
Stranger: jesus
You: wot
Stranger: im 16
You: cool
Stranger: i attend high school.
Stranger: and have alot of friends
Stranger: and party alot.
Stranger: kinda live the dream you could say...
You: lol, ye got a lass or wot
Stranger: are you a boy or a girl
You: im a guy, last i checked
Stranger: ahhahahahah
You: canny be too fookin sure which way, aye
You: gods mysterious
You: and such
Stranger: hahaahha
Stranger: sometimes both
Stranger: like ciara
You: more like fookin lady gaga
You: that fookin cunt id fook here in the eye and leave er for tha fookin crows
You: too rite i fookin would
Stranger: ahahahhha
Stranger: well said sir
You: ye'd do the gaga too?
You: i get dibsies
Stranger: well im not a lezbian....
You: oh so your a girl
You: i dinny know
You: maybe thats why ye dinny get the fookin binge theeth
Stranger: im a fucking girrrrl
Stranger: no, thats just not english
You: aye tuu rite its english
Stranger: thats why i dinny get the fookin binge theeth
You: the fookn bearla pricks

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What happens when two shit photoshops collide with one really bored user? This Christmas Card, From me, to you. Now, even though this is YOUR card, Newgrounds, I figured youd like to sign the inside of it, feel free to comment and do so, you know you want to.

So I did most of this last night, and finished it tonight. It's special, feel free to say so

[ also I fucked up the hand and made the neck too thick ]

This Technologically stunning game is brought to you in Colaberation with Torvald Veleke. Try not to be too jealous. But, if you are jealous, feel free to comment and tell me so
- your friend, Leidolfr

Hello, this is your local friendly Leidolfr, and Id just like to remind you, that they're not your friend. They're your enemy, and you know who they are, they're hearing this, even now. I know you've all felt the oppression, its looming in the air even now, I just want you to know in these dark time, I'm your friend, all of you, are my friends, and i want you to know not to buy into their lies. For the gold they offer is false, and fleeting, but Leidolfr, Leidolfrs always here, fighting, fighting for you.

Please leave a message after the tone, your friend, Leidolfr.

Ever been to Omegle? I have

Presenting pieces from my first night on Omegle, for YOU, my fans:
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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: whats up bithc!?!?!
You: hello i inmate # 324 and im looking for friends
Stranger: ...... FAG
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: not a day goes by where i dont think "what if i never planted that damn tree"
You: but im sure you know all about that
Stranger: i know exactly what you are saying
You: i knew you would, your my go to guy, your my pal
You: its 70 30 with us bud
Stranger: i'm sorry but i'm trying to meet someone good luck and i love you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: dude, help, ya gotta get me outta here
Stranger: hii
You: theyre coming
Stranger: so
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: do you ever just, sit on the grass, and wonder, why the fuck do i care about grass
You: and trees and bullshit like that
You: am i a hippy?
You: are you the walrus?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im
Stranger: not
You: are
You: you
You: sure
Stranger: i care about grass
You: would you like to change your long distance currier today?
Stranger: no i never call long distance
You: but we can offer far better providings than your current phone providers providings
You: ill prove that our probability to provie providings better than your providers providings is far higher than vice versa
Stranger: your vice versa
You: hey man, cool story man, i lol's
You: wanna buy a shoe tree
You: theyre cheap
You: i have to say im disapointed in your lack of professionalism here

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: is it safe?
Stranger: Hai
You: is it safe?
You: tell me
Stranger: No boxxy will eatchu
You: oh no, what ever could that mean
You: theyre watcing us, you know
You: "them"
You: whoever "they" are
You: like we dont know

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: !* Syntax error @ port 27, user is able to see chat dialogue, but is unable to respond due to hookers choking him **;
cin<http://maps.google.com/maps?saddr=
Nort h+Carolina&geocode=CYjpspUnGN6FFdWlIQI d3EJK-w&dirflg=&daddr=nebraska&f=d&sll =35.759573,-79.0193&sspn=6.408353,14.2 7124&ie=UTF8&t=h&z=6
You: presumptiously
You: oi right
You: thats were the basketball players from
Stranger: aye
Stranger: i don't really need phone service though, thanks
You: oi shit, the ira just kicked in the door
You have disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Do you know anything about art/photography?
You: hello, im the reincarnation of the egyptian sun god rah
You: i do
You: i painted often in egypt
You: mostly animals
Stranger: Like subjective, cultural frames?
You: reality is subjective, son
Stranger: Ahh I need to do my assignment xD Otherwise I would talk.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: yeah ive been pwning for an hour now, your turnm
You: enlighten me
Stranger: asl?
You: you need to impress me first, wow me with some zazz
Stranger: what is your name ?
You: whats a name got to do with you hurring me
You: you lulz machine you
Stranger: how old are you ?
You: you first
You: im shy
You: honestly
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hey man
Stranger: whats up?
You: yo this ya boy flava flav, im doing this as a promotion for my twitter, im only here for an hour
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey baby
You: whats up, im sunken ship rick
Stranger: why
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: herro
You: herro, interest you china?
You: he go with his brinker on and dont know
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: wooooooww
Stranger: hi asl
You: yodis ya boy flava flav
You: wooooowww
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: fuck u
You: fiber optics are the future my friend
Stranger: good
Stranger: so..
You: you can get em here
Stranger: what new
You: well specialty price for cock suckers like you
You: 69.69
You: with an idional payment of 69
Stranger: oh really
Stranger: thx bitch
You: i do what i can, word
You: yo dis ya boy flava flav
You: wooooowww
Stranger: good
Stranger: what u want
You: yo son, i want to know if youd like to switch long distance curriers
Stranger: fuck that
Stranger: i don't care
You: yo but man
You: it brings them fat stacks, ya hear
You: how about an autodialer
You: 6.55
Stranger: fuck u
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m?
Stranger: hey
Stranger: f?
You: this sites like those hary potter beans, like, some are good, but, some are earwax
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: if you stare long into the abyss, the abyss stares into you
Stranger: heyy :)
You: hey
Stranger: asl
You: you first
You: i dont tust your types
You: you internet people
Stranger: 18 f usa
You: 25 m
Stranger: cool cool
You: arkansas, probably
Stranger: im from colorado
You: well i gotta be honest with ya
Stranger: hmmm?
You: i want to know if you want to switch long distance curriers
You: or give me a ride
You: or maybe loan me some money
You: til thursday
Stranger: fool im in college. why the hell would i have money
You: well why not rob someone?
You: we sell lock pick sets too
Stranger: i dont stealll
You: o shit, theyre coming
You have disconnected.

----------------------------------

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: i likes me some fishin, ya'll wanna go fishin with me
Stranger: You heard of MLIA?
You: wats dat //mlia is mylifeisaverage.com, I lol'd
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

-------------------------------------

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: moi ootko suomest... pliis :D:D
You: ya'll like trucks?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

------------------------------------

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heey
You: heey
You: you got 10 seconds to wow me with some zazz
Stranger: ummm i like dinosaurs
You: ya'll like fishin?
You: i likes me some fishinm
Stranger: i dont like fishing but like eatn fish :)
You: i likefishin, they bite, then they struggle and squirm a lil, then they just lay back and accept it,like your sister
You: how is she
You: i still have her picture in my wallet
Stranger: i dont hav a sister ....
You: shoot
You: how bout ya mom
You: sum cousins?
You: work with me here
You: we can all go fishin
Stranger: haha lol yeahh ...
You: ya'll see, im a gentleman
Stranger: haha
Stranger: im sure u r
You: i love my country, my truck, and fishin
You: and im honest
You: and serious
Stranger: thats good
Stranger: what country u from?
You: ya'll like trucks?
You: country
You: boy im from texas
Stranger: yeah trucks r cool
Stranger: cool
Stranger: texas sound cool
Stranger: sounds**
Stranger: im from australia
You: oh yeah?
Stranger: yeah
You: they got sand there and stuff, kinda like texas
You: we dont have steve irwin though
You: oh wait, neither do you
You: lol
Stranger: haha lol i was gonna say that
You: lol
You: jinx
You: whers mycoke
Stranger: where u last left it :P
You: so how old are ya
You: can i burow some money from ya?
You: ya gots a job?
Stranger: im 16 u?
Stranger: and yeah i do
You: im 18
You: but look atleast 19
You: im cool like that
Stranger: thats cool :)
Stranger: do u hav msn?
You: sure, tell me ya thing and ill add ya
Stranger: okii
Stranger: [ Edited so Newgrounds wont
You: ok just a second
You: wait for it
Stranger: okii
You have disconnected.

[ EPIC FUCKING WIN ]
[ i could have gone so much furthur ]

--------------------------------------
--------

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im a diaper boy
You: i likes me sum fishin, ya'll fish, diaper boy
Stranger: what? lol
You: i said ya'll like fishin, city boy
Stranger: yes
Stranger: actually no
Stranger: its annoying
Stranger: i fished one time
You: i gots me a trick, there flip floppy boy
Stranger: lol
You: to make people like ta fish, lol boy
Stranger: you are the man at red neck language
You: i do what i can there appreciative boy
You: so what wonderland you from then, mystery boy
You: ill tell ya, guy come up ta my truck one time askin fer like money
You: so i says look here skip, al i got is a size 11 for ya
Stranger: did you hit him?
Stranger: lol
You: and then two n****rs jumped in my truck
Stranger: hahhahaha
You: and tried ta have sex with my, can ya beleive it, shocked boy
Stranger: damn right
You: nagger comes up ta me an says, i likes em pale
Stranger: those damn dirty n****rs
You: and i says damn, i likes em cognitive
You: ya'll know what i mean
You: there roofie boy
Stranger: yeh i do
You: that al ya got, short answer boy
You: yall aint got no pwn line, shtick boy
Stranger: are you american?
You: shoot, im from texas
Stranger: damn ya'll
You: i ride horses
Stranger: thats like'a 1600miles dat'a'way
You: so where ya from then
You: worlds rounf, 1600 miles goes anywhere
You: geographiccaly encline d boy
Stranger: yao'll listen here a minute boy, im from the land of Aoteroa, six feet under, ya'hear?
You: aoiteroa, ya'll must be wun dem funny types, right
You: ya'll think this is a joke, joke boy
Stranger: Na'ah
You: so yall got a sister
Stranger: awwww dang i think i just gone shit in ma diaper
You: wanna trade sisters?
You: i knows ya gots one fo me
Stranger: indeed i have
Stranger: how do you to do them?
You: ill treat her like a princess
You: she like fishin
You: and trucks
Stranger: thats not all she likes ;]
You: so
You: what we talkin in price here
Stranger: a night with you and shes all yours ;]
You: i dunno bout dat
You: i aints a funny type, funny boy
Stranger: thats the deal
Stranger: take or leave
You: ill tell ya what, you go to the bathroom at ye local, uhh, hungry jacks, and there will be a stal to the left, nd there will be a hole in the stall, i promise, its me on theother side
You: and not some homeless dude
You: i paid with pcp
You: that i made and sell
You: woops, i mean
You: i sell ice cream
Stranger: lol
You: yall like ice cream, boy
Stranger: depends where its coming from?
You: i dunno, dubai, wherever dat is
You: do buy yoself a truck, boy
Stranger: i have
Stranger: a tough one
Stranger: tougher than any fucking thing out there
You: i think, the contribution loads a lil light, there volvo boy
Stranger: volvo?
Stranger: we aint talkin' no volvo
You: i think wes talkin a volvo
You: an im usually right
Stranger: iv gotta D21 Nissan Navara 4x4

--------
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: I never knew my birth parents. There was a car accident. My birth mother was incinerated, and I only survived because her smoking carcass had formed a protective cocoon of slaughtered human effluence. A Belgian man and his fifteen year-old love slave were looting the accident scene, and came across a blood soaked baby, moi. They raised me to be evil. You know, that old chestnut...

You: how did you get this number
You: im looking for my grandson
Stranger: who?
Stranger: O_O
You: his names timmy o'toole
You: wait, this isnt th country buffet
Stranger: mmm
Stranger: my name is timmy..
Stranger: :|
You: i know, im watching you
You: we re watching
Stranger: Were being who?
Stranger: I lost my grandma and grandpa
Stranger: i miss them ='[
You: people, of the homo sapien nature
You: yeah well i knew your grandma
You: she was goo at roasting the sausage
Stranger: i had sex with my grandma :)
You: i AM your grandma
You: hello timmy
Stranger: GRANDMA!
Stranger: I MISS YOUR SAGGY VAGIAN
Stranger: AND YOUR TITS
Stranger: AND YOUR COOKIES
Stranger: :{
Stranger: OH GOD
Stranger: WHY DID I LEAVE YOU!
Stranger: IM SO SORRY!
Stranger: ILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!
You: 1
You: 0
You: 10
You: 10
You: 0010101
You: 01
You: sorry
You: computer auto dialer
Stranger: Tis okay lil gran.
You: squelch was at the wrong frequency
You: i hate frequency issues
Stranger: me too grandma
Stranger: i love you
Stranger: more then you know
Stranger: i wanna be with you grandma]
You: yeah i think i touched you too much as a kid, but hey
You: i didnt kill ya right
You: you turned out ok, and we re all very proud of you
Stranger: im a bisexual :D
Stranger: i want a threesome..
Stranger: i smoke weed daily
You: im a conjoined twin
You: but im a nun
You: we re a nun
You: and we re watching
You: you
Stranger: what am i doing right now then :O
You: being a faggot on omegle, but thats ok, we still love you
You: and we ARE watching
You: we re eveywhere
You: and nowhere
Stranger: I LOVE YOU GRANDMA
Stranger: please jack me off when im asleep
You: !*syntax error @ommegle port 42, unrecognized ondition before " love" without parameter definition
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: wtf?
You: what
Stranger: grandma you got it goin on
You: i didnt say anything
Stranger: yes you did
You: what did i say
Stranger: retarded gran..
Stranger: "!*syntax error @ommegle port 42, unrecognized ondition before " love" without parameter definition"
You: wtf are you talking about
You: what does that even mean
Stranger: no clue
Stranger: but you must of pooped your diaper
You: cout <<"i think youre right, come change me \n";
Stranger: D:
You: cmon, running out already
Stranger: Im just gonna sit here..
Stranger: and fart my pain away..
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

------------------------------------

TWO

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: the fuck you want
You: are you interested in changing your long distance currier
Stranger: yes
You: ok, can i have your name, and adress pease, and your email, and we will send a priceguide in the mail
You: as per your area code
Stranger: yeah okay
Stranger: it's chris walsh 325 rippityirippity new york moot@4chan.org
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

no no, you heard it here FIRST, the latest and greatest thing is here, now now, I know you're thinking, why does HE know something I dont, well, its because you suck, mostly.

So here it is, marvel at my new computer, The Tandy 5000 MC PROFESSIONAL system. This bad boy delivers a whopping 2 mb of ram, AND can run the latest, and greatest warez, including MS-DOS 3.3 ! I know, right, how the hell did I do it, well, here' the BEST news of your life, you too can own one of these machines of conquer, for the low low price of, get this, just 8499.00 bucks, pretty slick right?

You're full of it.

[ Also I heard you're gay ]

Ask me, anything, of any subject matter, and, you WILL get an answer, everybody gets an answer. Sometimes serious, sometimes funny, but always, an answer. Don't be shy, you know you want to dip into the well of knowledge that is me....

Ask and ye shall receive...
------------------------------------
Also, Join Me @_____ /j/ _____ you wont regret it. Here are the originals, of what will be, an epic site.

[ I've been Modded @ Jordans World [ home of /j/ ] So, its assured to be a near bullshit/ban free site, so really, come, post anonymously if you have to on the j board, but, make an account, its quick, and hang out for awhile, join our "little refined community" lol

___Brought to you by___
_______Leidolfr_______
_Leidolfr@p0wns3rv1c35.net_

....................../´P/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´0/'...'/´W¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\......N......D....../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
Here's Me
|
|
|
V

lol, did I impress you?

#include <iostream>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <time.h>
using namespace std;
int main(int argc, char *argv[])
{
int a;
char mybuffer [100];
cout << "So, whats your name tough guy/dyke? ";
cin.getline (mybuffer,100);
cout << "Good to meet you " << mybuffer << " You Asshole/Bitch.\n";
cout << "What do you hate the most?[ Besides your Uncles touch.. ";
cin.getline (mybuffer,100);
cout << "Yeah, I hate " << mybuffer << " too, but I think your Uncles good in bed.\n";
cout << "...Did you just take off your pants?!?! ";
cin.getline (mybuffer,100);
cout << "Ugh..it smells...get away!\n";
cout << "(cough cough cough)\n";
cout << "Are you male or female?(type 1 for male, 2 for female)" << ".\n";
cin >> a;
if ( a == 1 )
{
cout << "You the man ( With Phallic issues, good for you!" <<"!\n";
}
/*else if ( a == 1.5 )
{
cout << "Ugh, transvestite. Go back to Bulgaria!";
}*/
else if ( a == 2 )
{
cout << "I bet you are hot, uhh....can I put it in you?" <<"!\n";
}
else
{
cout << "Oh, I see.. you are a moron. obvious douchebag is obvious" <<"..\n";
}

//cout << "Which is your favourite team? ";
//cin.getline (mybuffer,100);
//cout << "I like " << mybuffer << " too.\n";

cout << "Have a nice day." <<"\n";
system("PAUSE");
return 0;
}

// lines r disabled code

---------------------------------

So I got a Sega Game Gear the other day, came with 8 games, Ive already beat Streets of rage 2, but yeah, I slap it here because it wasnt worth its own blog